The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:

The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, 2008-10-10
From: www.BasilAndSpice.com br /Author Book Views On A Healthy Life! br / br /Book Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There (Perigree, 2001) by Mark Goulston, MD with Philip Goldberg br / br /A Classic Feature br / br /Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He has also written Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, and PTSD for Dummies. br / br /The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship has received praise from John Gray, Ph.D. and Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. The book is based on more than 10,000 hours of couples therapy and has been developed into six secrets for keeping your relationship together: br / br / 1. Keep the chemistry burning. br / 2. Treat your partner with respect--and earn his or her respect. br / 3. Don't stop thinking about enjoyment. br / 4. Give one another acceptance despite your flaws. br / 5. Deserve each other's trust. br / 6. Always keep in touch with empathy. br / br /"The structure of an intimate relationship rests on six pillars, which are the core of each of the six secrets." br / br / 1. C--chemistry (Sex; Romance; Discusses the painful secrets some individuals keep; Tells why we need to feel physically connected. Answers why chemistry waxes, then wanes--explains how to bring this important element back into the relationship.) br / 2. R--respect (This is where affairs sometimes begin. Warning signs of disrespect highlighted. Tells how to respect yourself and your partner.) br / 3. E--enjoyment (There is a need for laughter. Defines how baggage hinders enjoyment.) br / 4. A--acceptance (Teaches how to avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling--leading predictors in the failure of couples. Elucidates upon what to do if you can't quite accept your partner. Also teaches how to find acceptance.) br / 5. T--trust (Implies faith and confidence and is required for emotional intimacy. Details how to restore trust.) br / 6. E--empathy (Attempt to view the situation from your partner's point of view. Learn how to move from debate and animosity to dialogue and understanding. Empathy heals wounds.) br / br /Dr. Goulston writes that breakdowns in a relationship occur when an element of the pillars is shaky--they need regular reinforcement. Stress on the pillars is a result of marriage, child-rearing, financial problems, long-term bond of two single people, or even work. The author believes that you shouldn't feel like a victim, instead take the initiative to create the "love you deserve." br / br /By reading The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, you should learn how to have: br / br / * Renewed involvement with each other br / * Revived enthusiasm four your relationship br / * A stronger sense of partnership and commitment br / * An atmosphere of healing br / * A greater capacity to solve problems effectively br / * Deepened intimacy and tenderness br / * Enhanced mutual understanding br / * Freedom from guilt and blame br / * A more durable bond br / * A reawakening of love br / br /Using a no-blame, no-fault, no-nonsense approach and couples therapy stories as examples, this book is well written for couples to read and act upon together. Dr. Goulston also includes throughout blocks of Usable Insight and questionnaires as evaluation tools. The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship is a classic which should be read by all couples, especially those who are in a shaky, rocky, or separating marriage and by those who are preparing to enter one. If your relationship is in trouble, find out why. Mark Goulston's 6 Secrets is Usable Insight into the reasons problems begin and will help you overcome existing marital difficulties and even point you to further help if necessary. And, if you're happily married, you, like myself, can gain a better understanding of your spouse and marriage. br / br /5 Stars

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Insightful and relevant, 2008-03-18
I bought this for my girlfriend and she loved it! I read it and I love it. A very interesting read which will definitely change your perspective on your relationships.

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

Useful, but limited, 2008-02-22
I just read a sample of the book from my Kindle, but that brief excerpt was enough. This book would probably be better titled, "how to resuscitate a dieing relationship," and marketed to those with relationships already on the decline. Even in that situation, I'd find his writing hard to take. He constantly is trying to sell you on his be-all, end-all acronym, CREATE. Though the relationship examples from his practice were excellent, the analogies were weakly uninspiring.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

A powerful beacon of hope for all loving relationships, 2008-01-24
In my experience, this has got to be the single most useful book on the subject of lasting romantic relatinships. Dr. Goulston examines the six pillars of relationship success - Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, Empathy. br / br /Together the first letters of each word spell CREATE. Together, the essence of each word define LOVE.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

A Genuine, Common Sense Approach!, 2007-01-23
This book can literally save your marriage or committed relationship. Dr. Goulston uses simple, yet clever analogies to help readers understand the true foundation of a solid relationship. His CREATE approach is direct and easy to understand. The advice is wonderful and it's obvious that Dr. Goulston genuinely cares about helping people grow and solidify their intimate relationships. This should be required reading for all couples or anyone contemplating a romantic relationship.